The Riviera may be a paradise on earth but it puts strains on relationships or exposes fault lines that were already there but may have otherwise remained hidden.

When ex-pats arrive here they don't always share the same aims and ideals; in fact, in many cases these aims were only ever held by the more dominant partner. It's no wonder that after as little as a few months the cracks begin to show.

The classic scenario is the husband dumping his wife of many years for a younger model. It's easy to make the assumption that all men are inherently bad and easily seduced by younger women, but it's actually more complex than that. For many men, the process of changing partners is traumatic and not something to be undertaken lightly. The cause is not always simple; happily-married men don't usually go looking for new partners and don't find it easy to throw away half a lifetime of shared experiences. In fact, so many return to their previous partners within a few months because the new life turned out not to be any better than the old one.

So what can a wife do to prevent this happening or to deal with it once it's happened? The cause is usually found deep inside the relationship. Moving house is always traumatic, but a move to the Riviera is often accompanied by other life changes such as a new job or retirement. The spouse may go along with varying degrees of willingness, but not to commit fully to the new environment is to risk disappointing the husband who staked his entire future on the move. Disappointment of this kind may not be felt at a conscious level but it makes the man more susceptible to temptations he might otherwise ignore. He's trying to replace the uncertainty and disappointment of home life with something exciting, to avoid facing up to the fact that the whole move was unwise in the first place.

And once it happens, it happens suddenly and with little warning. Lives are torn apart and it's all to easy to sink into bitterness and depression, taking refuge in revenge. But this will simply reinforce his actions. If you really want him back, look at what made him go. Did you commit fully to your new way of life, support his new career or help him deal with the trauma of retirement? Or did you harp back too often about how pleasant life was in the old country and how you expect to end up there again one day? Did you wear your foreign-ness with pride like a badge or did you go all out to become part of the community here?

It may not be too late to undo the problems that got you into this situation. Show him you are committed to the new life by making yourself believe it too. Let him see how much he's missing; the comfortable, familiar environment shared with someone with whom he has long and happy memories. His new life is full of stress and uncertainty; will he be strong enough to carry it through? Don't let your anger and pain show; let his guilt work on him. It may not work but at least you tried.