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Anna Fill Interviews

At home with Gulshan Antivalle

The community of Bordighera in Italy are lucky to have Gulshan Antivalle living in their quarters. For those who have encountered Gulshan will know of her generosity and outstanding ability to connect. But how did this lady of Indian origin, born in Kenya, Africa end up living in Bordighera?

It was at the recent Talk About Town event, with the subject being 'Where do you call home?' that Gulshan remarked that although she felt 'at home' where she was, she had a strong desire to return to her culture. I went to meet Gulshan at her home in Bordighera.

Gulshan Jivraj was born in the highlands of one of Kenya's principal cities, Eldoret and raised as a Shia Muslim, a denomination of Islam. Within her family Gulshan was taught the importance and value of learning and cherishes the words of her grandfather:

'Here today, gone tomorrow but education remains.'

Although Gulshan never knew her father who had died when she was 2, leaving her mother a widow at the early age of 20, the family network remained strong. Gulshan spoke to me of a very privileged background and never wanting for anything. At the age of 16 she began her studies at a teaching college in Nairobi and according to local tradition was also destined to be engaged to be married. But this was something Gulshan did not feel ready to do. This was to be a marriage that brought together 2 families with the understanding that Gulshan would want for nothing but being a free spirit Gulshan knew this wealth would not give her freedom or guarantee happiness. Speaking with her grandfather, he said that as far as he was concerned money was 'here today, gone tomorrow but education remains'. With these wise words, at the age of only 17 Gulshan made the decision to move to London on her own with a view to studying medicine. After taking up residence in Guildford, a town south of London, Gulshan began work at an old people's home. Here she began to feel homesick but she was still determined to focus and resisted the temptation of returning to Kenya and to her comfortable lifestyle. The tide turned and Gulshan landed a very rewarding job in the Tax Department of the Nat West bank in London. So at the age of 20, with a new direction in life, Gulshan moved to the affluent areas of St. John's Wood and then Hampstead Heath.

Smiling, Gulshan tells me of how her personal life also blossomed. Gulshan was very much in love but unfortunately the relationship was not to be and ended. It was by chance and at a dinner to make up numbers that Gulshan met Fernando Antivalle. Fernando worked and lived in Rome and for over two years they courted but still travelling to and from Rome to be together. Feeling a little displaced by this arrangement, Gulshan wanted greater commitment and it was mutually decided that the couple would live together in Rome. Before long Gulshan embraced the Italian language and was able to reinvent herself in Italian society. She became part of her husband's business heading the accounts department. Gulshan and Fernando married after ten years together and this was a long lasting love based on a mutual commitment for each other and it worked, but she was adamant to point out that it was not the romance that she had experienced in her previous relationship.

"There are different kinds of love" she tells me.

Gulshan had a very good and happy life but at the age of 40, she began to question life and reflect. She found solace in meditation, not something that was truly understood by her husband. Through meditation she would relive her childhood mountain days which brought her the inner calm and peace that she felt she needed at that time. Meditation was part of her culture and life as a young girl in Kenya.

The business continued to flourish and expand. Gulshan was 56 when her husband, 17 years her senior, decided one day that it was time to sell the business and to enjoy the fruits of their labour. They moved from Rome to the house where her husband was born, 'Villa Erica' in Bordighera. The couple then developed a passion for horses and life was wonderful. Unfortunately it turned out to be a little too good to be true and at the age of 60 Gulshan was diagnosed with a serious illness which naturally meant that she had to re-focus her energy. Although Fernando was supportive Gulshan found it easier to cope with the treatment on her own, which she overcame.

The adversity that Gulshan faced and conquered also took her on a new journey. In 2005, Gulshan was invited by the Minister of Internal Affairs to participate as part of a group of consultants for the Ismaili Community in Italy. In her role lasting 5 years, Gulshan was able to work towards a better understanding of Islam through education. Gulshan is very much in favour of schools teaching the history of all religions so we grow to appreciate the many cultures in our world, and have a greater tolerance for each other.

In 2010 Gulshan once again faced challenging times with the death of her husband, but in spite of this she continued to be involved in local community life. She was then appointed President of Amitié Sans Frontières of Bordighera, which is a club that promotes a spirit of tolerance, justice, friendship, with a focus on peace, regardless of gender, religion, race, nationality, profession. This role she held for 2 years and then agreed to continue for a 3rd year which enabled her to achieve so much more, before resigning in September 2015.

Gulshan has recently returned from the Annual Colloquium on Fundamental Rights, themed: "Tolerance and respect: preventing and combating antisemitic and anti-Muslim hatred in Europe" held in Brussels at the EU Headquarters.

A new calling for Gulshan Antivalle beckons, as she once again reflects on the importance of rekindling the love of her own culture. One thing for sure, Gulshan will continue to voice and support those in need. 

Sunday, 1 November 2015    Section: Anna Fill Interviews
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