People and Places
Tales from A trailing Wife - I Do Not Want To Talk About It
By Angela Barletta
I am moving again. Yes, a new assignment is on the horizon but I have no idea exactly when, but a sort of idea where. In our case it is always a matter of "hurry up and wait" and only once you have your visa stamped in your passport you are certain. Unfortunately it has been bothering me that I am moving again and have absolutely no desire to do so. I know what it feels like, the chaos of not knowing where to choose to live, knowing full well it will take time to find a new Dr, Dentist and maybe friend. Although honestly who needs another friend that they will not get to see again once they leave. I do not have enough Skype hours in a day as it is, with the different time zones to consider keeping up long distance relationships!
My *HH knows exactly what is waiting for him. A new challenge on his new assignment and a daily dose of satisfaction. And for me, a long day of filling the hours with meaningful activities in order not to go stir crazy. When the children were young and lived with us I did not have time to think about what I might do with my day. I did not have enough hours available to get their lives sorted in new schools, finding and signing them up for extra circular activities, finding a vet for the dog or where the dry cleaner was. How many times have I had to get a new drivers license. Now it is a different story. It would be so easy for me to fall into a lazy existence of reading other people's blogs about living a normal life; watching TV at night and talking to my friends in other parts of the world via Skype drinking red wine. How many people can say they can have a girlfriend conference call connecting Peru and California with Singapore!! But thankfully that does not do it for me for long. I need to undertake something. Be active, accomplish anything and allow new brain cells to develop after all the red wine I would consume on those Skype calls in the early stages of my move. I wish they would make up their minds if red wine is healthy for us middle-aged woman or not. Although, between you and me I am ignoring all health reports regarding red wine consumption. Fortunately I always find something that I have never done before. For example writing blog posts. Yes, with the encouragement of my younger daughter (maybe she is getting fed up with her moms long endless emails) and numerous friends I have discovered a new hobby. Creative writing. It can keep me occupied for hours and also provide company during the frequent night sweats I am enjoying these days!
So why do I NOT want to talk about my move. Because I do not have any answers. It is frustrating to have to tell friends or businesses that a move is imminent and that there is no need to make any new arrangements or appointments. I do not know how long we are going for; where the offices will be which will determine where we shall live. I sound so blasé and arrogant when I tell people I do not know and that I refuse to waste time to think about it. Many look at me with a big question mark in their eyes. " You don't care; you don't know, yet you are moving and are not excited. I would be!" At this stage I bite my tongue and smile. I must admit that it has become so much easier without worrying about the children and their schooling and adjustment. A huge, really huge relief not to agonize about their copying skills of yet another move. Maybe that is why these days I can pretend it is not happening and not spend too much energy on all the unknown aspects of our move.
Actually the heading should have read – DO NOT TALK ABOUT IT. This sentence accompanies every phone call I receive from my HH sharing some more information on our next assignment. The company gives guidelines of not talking about any future moves until it is all-official. The joke is that this can take up to 3 or more months! And ME/MOI needs to not talk about it! They must be kidding. YOU don’t know me. I talk, I talk a lot and I love sharing. How can I not tell my best friend I am leaving her; or just shock my children? Do they think that my lovely girls could have coped with: Hey kids, guess what? Two weeks from now you are going to live in a new country, have a new school - just forget your friends and make new ones. Of course I talked about it, planted the seed of new beginnings with time to adjust. Human Resource Planning needs to go back to school. No, wait, these days these departments are outsourced. These humans live in countries so far removed from the one we are presently living in and even further away from the country we are moving to. Oh boy, let me not start on that subject. But guess what –
Times have changed, apart from having found my home in Sanremo; I am after all these years complying with company rules and I don’t want to talk about it.
Silently I am hoping to go back to the big city and state where everything is better and bigger. Because why? The amazing friends I made while living there before. Secretly I cannot wait to catch up with ya'll and start right where we left off so many years ago. You all know who you are. Please try to keep me away from the bigger and better portions - I am going to be the mother of the bride later this year!
*HH - Handsome Husband