Coping With Divorce - Part 4
By Judy Churchill - Judy also featured in the Anna Fill Interviews.
Part 4 of 7
WHEN TO REUNITE AND WHEN TO STAY APART
When you separate from someone, the question of when to see each other for whatever reason or when to remain apart is only an issue when children are concerned. It is natural for children to want to seek out every opportunity to get their parents back together again and certainly initially any form of physical proximity will be interpreted as a possible ‘reuniting for good’ by the children. You may think it is in their best interests for your ex to call round and see your children or pick them up or drop them off from school each day at your place (just like old times…). But those times have changed, everyone needs to move on and your children will feel more secure if the territorial limits of each parent are well defined and consequently their hopes will not be raised unnecessarily. This will lead to a more rapid and smoother acceptance of the situation.
They need to know, see and feel that have two clearly defined family units: time at Mummy’s place and time at Daddy’s place. The sooner they come to terms with this the more quickly they will settle down psychologically and the same is true for you too.